Drama Lies and Tears..Welcome to the Teenage Years

22 March 2009 @ 06:48 pm

face down in the dirt she said "this doesnt hurt"

jim kissed me...more than once
lip rings sent naked piks 2 simba while he was dating sum1
then he broke up with her
so emo boy got mad at me...
simbas ex likes me
simba likes me
emo boy.....has no clue nemore
nd lip rings hates me...
wat the hell am i supposed 2 do?

Current Mood:

aggravated

Current Music: face down by rja

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15 March 2009 @ 04:31 pm

i build myself up, to tear myself down

reely?
he barely likes me as a friend nemore..
nd im madly in love with him STILL
fuck him..
fuck this bullshit..
i have sum1 who loves me...

but do i love him back?

Current Location: hairboys

Current Mood:

horny

Current Music: your call- secondhand serenade

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13 March 2009 @ 09:13 pm

(no subject)

ughughugh...
hairboys...driving me crazy. i dont noe wat 2 do,
im not happy but i noe if hes with me...he will b
nd thats wat i reely want.
hes so emotional, i liked it at first now its my weakness
i hate myself evrytime i upset him or make him cry,
as im typing this, hes laying on the bed, looking reely sad nd stressed
nd i noe hes thinking about breaking up wit me,
i havent told him this..but i dont think i care, cuz i noe he wuldnt noe wat i meant.
if we stay 2gether, hell b happy n ill accept it,
if we break up, ill still have my problems...such as...
lip rings...shes so weird.
shes mad cuz im with him, but she wants me,
nd i want her...shes hot nd reely sweet..but the bitch is CONFUSING
ugh, then theres, yes...of course i can pick em...another emo kid
actually, he dated nooblette, if u remember...
ill call him...jim...of course i mean that by hes in my gym class
he wants me too...but he just wants me 2 have his vcard
ive been refusing ofcourse. i have a bf...but watll happen wen i dont?
i dont want to, reely..so it probably wont happen, but u never noe
im losing friends like car keys...ppl r so unhappy with me now
they think me n hairboy r a bad match n r mad 4, alot of reasons..
i miss my mom..nd i ish she was here so i culd talk 2 her about this.
but all i have is lj now....
newayz, emoboy feels awkward around me now that hes aware
that i still am madly in love with me...
fuckk...i gotta go...peace

Current Location: his house....

Current Mood:

confused

Current Music: right round- flo ridah

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17 February 2009 @ 01:01 pm

update...

god where do i start...
back in september...lol
me nd emo boy broke up but then for like...a month after
we messed around.....alot :)))))))
but then i met hair boy...nd i fucked up rite there..
i got his number...why? idk i shuldve left him nd his quiet ass b
but no...we hung out nd i kissed him on the beach..
nd he got very attached nd hey...so did i.
we talked 4 a bit ~~nd did other things~~
then we started going out...101008
now a buddy of mine (his nickname shall b simba)
he is so in love with me, ~~nd hes reeeeely ugly~~
so i only like him as a friend
i went 2 an avenged sevenfold concert *headbangs*
yes...me n hairboy had sex.. nd alot of it (thank god 4 birth control)
then this girl ive liked 4 a while....lets say....lip ring :P
she liked me back, then me nd hair boy was havin problems
after like...3 1/2 months, so he broke up with me..
yes, devastating.....not too much tho
i stopped the cutting (~~which sux 4 me but i still smoke~~)
so then, i kissed lip ring....we made out...she also hasa tounge ring :DDDD
~~too bad she culdnt use it right...teehee~~
but hairboy had a SHITFIT...nd i was mad
cuz im like *u definitely broke up wit me????*
but he put me on a guilt trip so i was upset nd we got back 2gether
but then he was so different, like he acted like
he didnt care as much nd like he culd never lose me
so im like *this cocky bitch..lol jk* but i broke up with him
cuz then he became an ~~annoying~~ pothead..like ALL he ever wanted was sex nd pot
so i didnt like that...nd i ended it...nd of course lip ring kissed me
but i turned her away nd he was still upset cuz
"i thought about letting it happen" *EXTREME mocking voice*
bullshit...if i wanted it 2 happen i culdve let it...maybe i shuldve?
then like...a week later...simba kissed me...
hes not a horrible kisser, just he has weird technique nd chapped lips..
but THAT upset hairboy too....*surprise*
but now....we r jus chill.....so fuck it...

Current Location: hairboys casa :P

Current Mood:

relaxed

Current Music: ashley- escape the fate

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22 July 2008 @ 01:23 am

they'll tear us apart if u give them the chance

heyy havent had a heart felt post in a lil bit so i thought i mite do so. im in az having..."fun" its pretty all rite tho. i slept over my aunts nd had a loooooong convo wit her about how i feel about alot of stuff. she was kinda surprised that im a teenage girl who doesnt believe that im gunna find true love now and marry this kid nd b soul mates. i dont believe in soulmates at all. i love emo boy nd it might b true love like he says it is but im not sure nd i noe i wont b with him forvever. dont get me wrong, if i was that wuld b hella cool but i noe im not so y even waste time thinking about it. hes 1500 miles away rite now nd i havent talked to him since i left. the day i went to his house b4 he left, my life changed nd i wish nwe culd b perfect 2gether forever but deep in my heart i dont think that anyone culd b with 1 person forvever. anyone ive ever thought wuld last, didnt. my mom nd her husband, laina nd cheese, vicky nd paul, my cuzzin nd her bf,greg nd carmen, my auntie nd larry, johner nd his bf, and other peeps i cant think of that were "perfect" 2gether, all didnt last. the only ppl i can think of r my aunt pam nd uncle mike so wen i slept over her house i asked nd i noe theyll last forever but i cant help but think 'ill never find my person and b with them forever. i dont even deserve wat i have now" which is probably true. emo boy rite now is jus havin fun wit his summer that doesnt include me in it. i feel bad cuz i havent talked 2 him but wen i email him nd he responds he doesnt ever sound like he even wants to talk 2 me. i feel horrible like he shuld have better. i miss my besties but evry1 is having more fun than i am, nd i doubt ne1 misses me. its makin me a lil depressed, nd im not happy with my now-surroundings. my moms got a new bf who acts younger than me, my brothers annoying as hell, nd my mom acts like a bitch. rite now im at my EX-stepdads house nd evrytime we bring up the good old days i wanna either A) choke back tears and wish them back or B) scream and yell and break things until all my problems r out of my system. i feel like doing wat i used 2 do wen i had problems but i promised emo boy id never do it again, as long as he cared about me, cuz he was the ONLY one who cared about me hurting myself like i did, nd now that im doubting us the SLIGHTEST bit i feel like going back but i noe i wont,

Current Location: west siiiiiiiide

Current Mood: emotional

Current Music: build god, then we'll talk- panic! at the disco

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15 July 2008 @ 03:58 pm

hello there, the angel from my nightmare

im in az!!
finally shits gettin better
but i miss my bf...only thing i miss
i got sum red chucks a few days ago
i have new music on my ipod
nd im partying with my gays this weekend
i wishh i had a camera

Current Location: az

Current Mood:

contemplative

Current Music: i miss you-blink 182

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07 June 2008 @ 11:07 pm

(no subject)

ugh...i hate life rite now..

im showing my weaknesses to people

feeling vulnerable and i hate it

thinking about sum stuff...

maybe i shuld jus give up..
u noe? b a slut, do sum drugs, make my life worse than it already is...
not much more i can do to help myself
so why bother?

Tags: fuck up

Current Location: home

Current Mood:

contemplative

Current Music: heels over head- boys like girls

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02 June 2008 @ 09:14 pm

fuckk youhh

ugh...skool blocked lj so there shall b alot less of me posting
srry guys!!
but since i last posted, me nd emo boy r pretty good
but nooblette keeps flirting wit him, nd that aint how its gunna roll...
fuckk her, hes wit me nd its staying that way
2days a month btw...cool shit but we aint get 2 chill much
sucks ass but wateva....im bout 2 go call him
duecesz

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21 May 2008 @ 08:05 am

hmm

im boreddd nd i thinks its time for me 2 update my icons soon
probably next class period..after a lecture about not doin my work
yesterday was super awesomeness at the tennis match
we didnt go til about 3ishh nd wen we did we stayed off the court til emo boy had 2 play
which wasnt until around 4:30 so we were bein super lovey
for no reason...but i loved it, he kept showin me mad love jus bcuz he felt like it
he has his moments of serious romance...hes great like that
we had sum pretty obscene conversations with each other
nd then hempy was havin the same convos wit me...
i jus like obscene topics like drugs nd sex XDD
im a cool chick like that..guys can b guys around me nd im probably worse
nd thats y i have my nono...nd a few other perverted girlfranns
there was this reely fun moment at the match, i was sittin on the rock
real close 2 emo boy nd i had my hand on his thigh...
~~mad close 2 where it aint supposed 2 b~~
nd he gave me this look like "sure?" nd he was lookin at me mad serious
nd i laffed real quiet nd he was like "wat r u laffin at?" nd so i told him
nd he was like "nuh uh the look was more of a "i hope i dont walk onto the court awkwardly" look
nd then outta nowhere he had one hand in mine other pulling me close nd kissed me
at random he does that nd tells me how much he loves me....
which i find isnt common amoung guys my age..how'd i find him?

Tags: kissing, look, tennis match

Current Location: lala land

Current Mood:

amused

Current Music: take me back- story of the year

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20 May 2008 @ 08:07 am

tougher than nigerian hair

lol...the white boy next 2 me is jammin 2 lil wayne...noe all the words nd shit..wow. but neways, fri. was fun cuz i spent most of the day wit emo boy nd we had fun :D but sat. i went on a trip nd was jus kinda chillen wit the bestie. then there was a trip 2 the mall. yesterday was a sumwat good day. spent sum time wit emo boy nd my friend. (hes exactly like me so hes called my twin) we jus hung around nd bullshitted about evrything. i got a problem wit loverchick cuz she cant handle the truth about loverboy or her bein mad fake, so oh well. emo boys been actin suer bipolar lately. hes lovey then doesnt wanna talk2 me...i dont wanna start havin problems now. cuz wen we r a billion miles away, i have no clue how its gunna work. but we can do it, at least...he says hes sure of it.

Current Mood:

anxious

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20 May 2008 @ 07:42 am

Writer's Block: Your Theme

i dont reely have a theme song...i have a soundtrack nd it wuld include:
be somebody else-pink
i can swing a mike- escape the fate
theres nothing remix- sean kingston, paula deanna, juelz santana
when it all falls apart- the veronicas
do something-brittney spears
i feel like dyin- lil wayne

a few mores but i wont drag this on

Tags: life, theme song, writer's block

Current Mood:

blah

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19 May 2008 @ 07:51 am

Writer's Block: Clumsiest moment

im like...the clumsiest person in life...theres many nd i shall mention a few of them...

im not shy nd i like 2 hit on random hot guys nd one time, at the mall, whil whistling tha this cute guy from across the food court....i ran into the giant gumball machine...then i tried 2 play it off nd pull out a quarter but i laffed at myself.
last yr, i went 2 a party lookin mad cute wit a skirt nd leggings on.... of course my friend ran in front of me nd i stepped back, FALLING into the cooler, wetting my skirt nd rippin my leggings, but ima trooper nd changed into a pair of my friends sweatpants nd started partyin my lil ass off...but then one of the boys missed his target nd hit me in the head with a football.
at the skating rink a few weeks ago, i was randomly hitting on the hottie...nd of course after a min. of shameless flirting...he replies "uhm...im gay" nd i kinda laffed nd was like "well u wanna b my best friend then?" he laffed nd sat next 2 us....made a new friend i guess.
most of the embarassin shyt happens like me...fallin down my stairs in my bra nd underwear wen a salesperson knocks on the door, trying 2 sell me a phone book.
or me in the 3rd floor of the magnet skool slippin on emo boys sweater causing me to fall down a flight of stairs which was SUPER funny.
ive learned 2 laff at myself bcuz im so embarassing..

Tags: embarrasment, memory, writer's block

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15 May 2008 @ 09:34 am

(no subject)

mm...life been good to me this week. its a nice change...i like it.
yesterday was good, even tho i didnt have 5th prd
i went 2 emo boys tennis game nd it was sickkk
ii wasnt watchin the game, but i had my pplsz wit me (lets call them shay-boo, ace, nd hairapy)
my dood hairapy is mad cool, he was my bestie mad long ago but we aint talk in 4ever
shay-boo wasnt supposed 2 b there but she went cuz i did
nd ace (recently called hempy) was bein mad gay for no reason, it was hilarious
our team lost cuz we SUCK nd r horrible at boring ass tennis
loverchick nd loverboy got into an arguement nd i hate them both rite now
all my buddies is on the team so i said ill go 2 their homegames if hairapy goes..
cuz without him its not fun, i met this kid yesterday
hes bangin nd hes friendly...but hes into anime....but he doesnt look like it
watev...im good wit who im wit, nd ima stay that way
i hate 2 admit im ~~in love~~

Current Mood:

busy

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14 May 2008 @ 10:07 am

Writer's Block: Reacting to my bad mood

it switches up cuz on a real bad i lash out at evry1, even wen they dont deserve it, i have a horrible temper nd i tend to break things, throw things, yell, nd then i lay down and cry, or wen the day is over nd i can jus go 2 sleep. once in a while i dont talk 2 ne1, nd i jus isolate myself so i DONT lash out. its best if i dont, cuz wen i do it makes my day even worse, plus a headache. but sumtymesi call my best friend nd vent to him nd i cry nd he listens nd comforts me. there was only one time he didnt, nd its cuz he had the same kinda day.
i havent had a day like that in a while, ive had bad days but not any where its bad enuff that i cant talk 2 anyone or i lash out. tempers been better lately, except for one occasion where i punched AK in the face...

Tags: bad, mood, writer's block

Current Location: 120 jefferson

Current Music: alfie- lily allen

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13 May 2008 @ 09:31 am

your face is the soundtack of my summer

blahh...2days boring, nobodys reely here..i mean monte python isnt here
nooblette isnt here the ONE time i actually need and WANT to talk 2 her
i think her nd AK go out again nd its kins funny but i wanna asj her cuz hes lying to me
hes been gettin on my last nerve lately...i hate that kid, nd he does it on purpose
i mean, i get that we r only in high school bbut he needs 2 grow up sumtyme soon
hes older than us but hes less mature, but i think SERIOUSLY *serious lil imput here*
they r kinda cute 2gether...she will probably hurt him again, but hes the type of guy who will take her back
bcuz hes the type she can trample over and she does that so she doesnt do it to evry1 else
as long as he lets her, she mite treat him like shit once in a while nd she will b great to the rest of the world
nd evry1 will b happy, them, us...its all a great combination bcuz AK doesnt care about it
he loves her so much she culd kick him in the face, nd he will b totally fine wit it
so i think they r an awesome couple bcuz of that...its kinda funny bcuz evry1 is going out now
i blame spring but evry1 is hookin up nd shyt now which is kinda good tho...
im mad tired rite now 4 no reason...cant wait til later..lunch nd shyt wont b as fun but oh well

Current Location: class

Current Mood:

creative

Current Music: wow i can get sexual too- say anything

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12 May 2008 @ 09:37 am

weekendness

my weekend was fun, i went 2 see Baby Mama with loverboy, loverchick, AK, sum random kid, and ian
the bf was supposed 2 go but culdnt cuz he lives in bumfuck, egypt like a fuckerr
the movie wasnt that great nd i sat next to ian nd the couple (who were making out half the time)
ian talks loud thru the whole movie but the movie was boring so i didnt care
i think he mite like me but maybe im jus not used 2 his friendlyness, but ive known him forever
AK pissed me off wit this dumb sound that annoys everyone nd i almost punched him again
me nd andie were lookin madd cute nd i stole the outfit so i culd wear it during the week
its rockin the rainbow nd shyt, sexyness, but newayz on sat. i slept over loverchick's
it was boring at first but then we watched Waiting nd her friend came over
ive never met him but hes emo boys friend nd ive seen him around at school
hes MAD tall...6'5" to b exact so ima call him beast...cuz he a beast, hes 18 nd drove over
nd he got a call from this drunk kid named joe nd we went 2 pick him up nd shit, it was fun
we got home made sum ramen, nd loverchick fell asleep, but me nd her sister, lets call her damien,
stayed awake, nd beast had us in stitches! hes mad funny nd he had the same sound AK had on his phone
nd i chucked a mint can at him, nd then all 3 of us piled into the one futon bed nd was jokin around hittin each other
he was a bit tipsy but mostly we were jus bein dumb as all hell...hes cool pplsz
we wanna make a plan 2 chill out in Preston next weekend
bcuz damien, me nd loverchick all have bf's that live in there nd it wuld b fun as hell
i hope we can do that..

Current Mood:

uncomfortable

Current Music: maria, maria- santana

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07 May 2008 @ 11:11 am

Writer's Block: It's Too Late to Apologize

sorry doesnt fix anything...unless sum1 reely reely reely means it..
evry1 says sorry but not alot mean it..recently ive been hurt by this one boy nd this one girl (2 different situations) the guy cheated on me nd the girl talked so much shit, betrayed me, lied, nd did evrything she culd 2 hurt me, even take my love away from me....they both said sorry...neither of them meant it so i forgive neither of them. one other boy hurt me, but it was unintentional nd wen he realized he hurt me, he did evrything in his power 2 make it up 2 me nd make me feel better, we've been thru alot of shit nd we always get thru it bcuz he is the one guy, i think i culd ever trust with my life.

Tags: writer's block

Current Location: escuela S wing

Current Mood:

cold

Current Music: take a bow- Rhianna

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06 May 2008 @ 09:42 am

eelik!!

ugh, yesterday was stressful, i got nothing done in my classes nd didnt have 5th prd, so i was unhappy all day. after skool me nd emo boy hung out for a half an hour, took the elevator up nd down twice, for certain reasons, then me nd curly went 2 wendys nd ms.nancy picked us up in her convertable. we got 2 writers nd AK nd me fought over his phone, he put me in a headlock, so i punched him in the face nd made his lip bleed.

Current Mood:

exhausted

Current Music: yeah-usher

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02 May 2008 @ 10:05 am

(no subject)

theres nothin to do..i missed my bus AGAIN 2day...nd i didnt get time 2 "talk" to emo boy
which is bull...i hate missin the bus, i always get yelled at
my hairs curly nd scrunched 2day nd evry1 loves it better with the highlights
my band geeks left me for the entire weekend which makes me wanna cry
im grounded til wed. bcuz of my grades nd stuff
i got 3 D's nd an F....which is bad so no computer or going out
which SUCKS cuz i was gunna go 2 the movies with emo boy
2nite we were supposed 2 see Iron Man but he says
he wuld see it again next week with me so he doesnt have 2 WATCH the movie
i noe wat he means by that...loser
we dont even go out nd we randomly kiss evrytime we see each other wtf??
its all good tho, i can wait til friday...im gunna go get sum free shit from sarges
mostly energy drinks nd candy nd gay ass comic books that ill jus give 2 my brother
ill see my nerds!! sum i havent seen since 8th grade, bcuz they go 2 fag skools
ill chill in the basement with them nd jus chill while my aunt nd father r upstairs
oblivious to my existance down there where all the "trouble causing kids" stay at
we dont reely do nething...truth or dare maybe...but nothing much
my hair is cold..nd my fingers hurt so ill ttyl
DU3CES

Current Mood:

energetic

Current Music: got it from my mama-will.i.am

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29 April 2008 @ 10:12 am

a word of advice

do not drink on a school night...u think u will b fine but dont...
im sittin in 1st prd with a hangover nd it SUCKS

Current Mood:

guilty

Current Music: lollipop- lil wayne

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25 April 2008 @ 09:56 am

ne1 else participating in the day of silence?

yepp....me......quiet for a whole 12 hours...i can totally do it yay for the gays lmao
i talked 2 emo boy yesterday (who is staying quiet with me)
we definately had that talk we needed so much
he made me sooooo happy, i love that kid so much
i seen him this morning nd gave him the biggest hug possible
cuz he jus helped me with my problems nd listened...
hes reely good at that nd is almost the only guy i noe i can talk 2 about evrything
nd i totally love him for it..nd he gives me the biggest confidence boost
which ive been needing for the last 3 weeks
ive been so down nd ive jus wanted 2 jump off a cliff
nd he definately took me out of that , hes so cute in that way
but i definately need 2 get out of that bcuz i cant b in love with a kid with a gf
wen their done then i can do it but i cant help but miss how close we were
we r close...but i mean close as in he culd come over
nd we culd talk or jus cuddle/chill without havin 2 do nething
now he cant come over, we dont chill, nd we only talk in IM nd durin lunch
i miss our deep ass conversations that DIDNT lead 2 an arguement
nd he said he does too...so we had sum deep convos last nite
he said we need 2 chill so we can talk in person, cuz its always better that way
ive been under a lot of stress with my bestie, my parents, money, sexuality, love, nd a whole lot of other shyt im cunfused about
its drivin me crazy...nd hes the only one i can talk 2 cuz i feel so comfortable with him

Current Mood:

hopeful

Current Music: leaving-jesse mccartney

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23 April 2008 @ 10:00 am

(no subject)

1. Ask me to take pictures of any aspect of my life you're curious about
2. Leave your requests as comments to this entry
3. Please look at the previous requests as to not do repeats
4. I'll snap the pictures and post them
5. Whoever wants it.

ill take pics of anything and evrything
me, my pets, emo boy, my parental units....
JUST ASK
this mite b ur only chance 2 see wat my life LOOKS like

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23 April 2008 @ 09:34 am

yarr

yesterday was good until i got home...
then evry1 was like "mm no"
i didnt talk 2 emo boy at all nd i reely need 2 talk 2 him
not gunna tell him about wat happened with this person or that one
im gunna have a long talk wit him about how awesome he is
he needs a confidence boost...nd i can always make him feel good
((not like that u sickoo))
my friend AK asked him y hes still wit his gf...
nd his answer was totally unexceptable lol
"bcuz i love her".....wtf???
i can understand if u love sum1 but if sum1 cheats and lies...they dont love u bacc
srry 2 say..but its true nd he needs 2 noe that
hes wayyyy better than that shyt newayz, like....4 real
yea...i gave this a whole lotta thought yesterday
i feel so horrible about this nd i dont even noe why
it suckks but im jus gunna talk 2 him 2day or sumthing
but i dont wanna bother him too much about it
cuz i noe about 70000 other ppl r buggin him
nd i dont want him 2 think that im jus tryna get him bacc
cuz thats not the deal, i jus hate seein ppl i love get hurt by ppl i cant stand
i jus dont roll that way...nd i shuld have a talk wit her but i noe if she cop an attitude
there will b a problem

Current Mood:

contemplative

Current Music: when it all falls apart- the veronicas

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22 April 2008 @ 10:08 am

pshh

im tired as hell...missed my bus 2day
nd its gunna b a long day...i can tell
yesterday was kinda fun...long..but fun
the ex is still tryna get wit me nd shit but he can kiss my ass
had a talk wit my best guy friend emo boy..
poor kid is goin thru sum hard times nd so am i
so we is there 4 each other nd shit
2day SHULD b interesting cuz ima have sum awkward talks wit sum ppl...

Current Mood:

blah

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21 April 2008 @ 09:42 am

(no subject)

skool!! finally....i was getting bored over vaca
no matter wat, even over vaca, nothing but drama happens
its jus bullshit..i had a good cry a few days ago...u noe wen that happens?
wen u NEED 2 cry cuz ur jus overwhelmed with stress and shit..
well...i had alot of that going on, but then my friend...lets call him pose...
pose told me about sumthing this girl did...pissed me off
(ive mentioned her b4 but i wont now i lost so much respect for her)
she hurt her bf...another friend i may have mentioned..but he wont believe it
she cheated...nd if theres sumthing i reely hate r cheaters and liars
2 make matters worse? her bf was my BEST FRIEND...
u probably noe by now who im talkin bout
but it dont matter...im not gunna get into that bullshit
cuz it jus pisses me off nd ima snap on sumbody nd i shuldnt
shit makes me mad enuff 2 black out...nd thats not wat i need
i hate where i live...nd i hate the girls here...
their mostly stupid bitches or sluts..

Current Location: skool

Current Mood:

aggravated

Current Music: down- rakim y ken y

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16 April 2008 @ 12:22 am

time is never wasted wen ur wasted all the time

i love the qoute...its jus tru
lately ive been high or drunk alot
but its vacation, so i can do it
but ive been talking 2 ppl alot lately
jus random ppl i meet that i didnt bother with b4
like my aunts friends nd my friends bf's
i usually stick 2 my usual besties
but i guess im getting tired of it
so im chillen wit sum new peeps
jus watched "whats eating gilbert grape"
cute ass movie, so sad, definately a new favorite
a newer favorite: Never Back Down
i recommend it, if u like watching
extremely hot hotties, beating the shit out of each other
cuz i noe i do

Current Location: at home in CT

Current Mood:

accomplished

Current Music: false pretense- RJA

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10 April 2008 @ 09:59 am

u can only move as fast as whos in front of u

yea....yesterday was stoopid, i went 2 Kente (art club) nd bcuz of my good deed we get pizza 2dayy. i went home nd went 2 sleep, got up, ate KFC....btw i was very disappointed at the toasted wrap thingy. i wuldve rather had a snack wrap. got on the computer nd talked 2 him, who was being supa emo that day bcuz he finally realized sumthing. then i was bein a dork, distracting him from his hmwrk. NOT GOOD. but he did it 2 me last semester nd i almost failed geometry, which grade was brought up this semester. woot woot!! ak nd me r on a talking level i guess nd nooblette is jus pissed at EVRY1. so weni go 2 pobes' classroom 2day, theirs only monte python 2 talk 2. emo boy failed 2 catch his bus. NOOB. but 2day started out okay...i wonder how the rest of the day will go.

Current Location: class

Current Mood:

blah

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09 April 2008 @ 09:50 am

annoyedd

wow...People jus want me 2 punch them in their head
i woke up extra violently 2day, back crunched, it was 2 bright
i get 2 skool, nd ppl givin me mad attitude
nooblettes treating me like im fuccin retarded nd she thinks shes awesome
BY THE WAY....I DIDNT NOE THAT "FREED" WAS SPELLED LIKE THAT
SO THAT MUST MAKE ME A FUCCIN RETARD
pissed me off even more bcuz i wasnt talkin 2 her, nd shes always like
"if u hate me so much, dont talk 2 me" nd i dont....she talks 2 me
i wrote on emo boys arm "kilees property =)" nd she was like "o hell no"
nd i was like "o hell yes" cuz thats my best friend...my property
it was an awkward moment until my friend (monte python is her nickname)
walks in nd makes my dayy....pobes was being a downer...
i went from pissed to giggly, to tired now
im madd tired nd bored nd i cant wait til next prd
cuz my friend gets on facebook nd we jus message each other
about life..

Current Location: class

Current Mood:

bored

Current Music: lollipop-lil wayne

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08 April 2008 @ 10:26 am

Writer's Block: Lost & Found

Writer's Block: What have you lost that you wish you still had?
ive lost my self-control...ive lost my friends
ive lost my strength agains peer pressure
ive lost him...ive lost fight against myself...ive lost my family
ive lost alot lately...ive lost my jacks skellington wristband
ive lost his xmas present

i got emo boy back 4 the wristband, i got his
nooblettes got the other 1
i got high last week so i lost that
i cant find emo boys chain...ill find a different way 2 thank him ;)
hes with another girl...so i obviously lost him a long time ago
i try nd i lose
my stepdad left nd my moms leaving...
im under a whole lot of stress but im mad stubborn
nd sure as hell not gunna ask nebody 4 help
but if sumbody i trus trys 2 help..theres not alot i can do 2 stop them
cuz i jus need 2 vent about sum stuff that only certain ppl wuld get or understand
i wanna talk 2 ppl who wont abandon me for my mistakes
ppl who wuldnt leave bcuz of my bad decisions
or ppl who wont judge or talk about me behind my back
real friends who wont ever change their mind bcuz of sumthin i did or said
ppl who will b there wen they say they will b nd not jus do wat evry2 else is doin
i need friends who wont lie 2 me or talk shyt
ppl who arent fake or 2-faced, ppl who love me 4 who i am not wat i do

i onlii got 3 REAL friends...
(shout out 2 nono nd emo boy nd lay)

Tags: lost & found, writer's block

Current Mood:

contemplative

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07 April 2008 @ 09:57 am

i havent posted a long post in 4ever

gahh....POST, is gunna b supa long
this weekend? so fuccin fun
firday i went 2 a battle of the bands sort of thing, with ppl
including AK, emo boy, nd nooblette
nd i felt bad cuz nooblette was being a SUPERDOUCHE he nd AK were all over each other
then we went outside nd got HiGH
((yes my first time nd i was takin monster hits))
but emo boy was bein so emo nd i wanted 2 cheer him up but i cant
nd my friends were tellin me about friday after skool wen nooblette was talkin NOn-STOP
about how fuccin awesome AK was nd it pissed me off
next time sumthing like that happens...ima say sumthin nd idc who gets mad about it
i HATE HATE HATE how she treats ppl but shes a cool person, except wen shes around guys
i cant fuccin stand her wen shes around guys...fuccin twat
i talked 2 emo boy yesterday, we had a supa awesome chat
it kinda went like me sayin "idc wat ppl think ima b there 4 u no matter wat"
nd he sayin the same, me saying he needs intervention cuz he always picks heartbreaking whores
nd hes jus the type of person who gets hurt nd doesnt deserve 2 b treated how he is
him sayin sumthin lik yea..i noe but u hurt me first, nd thats y i chose her over u
nd me sayin i regret not kissin him that day....wen he told me him nd tay broke up
i shuldve...he noes it too....we r both fuccin stupid
but hes my best friend nd we still love each other but as awesome friends
i guess
shes still askin if he likes me...its fuccin annoying
gahh...shes such a douchefag yes....douchefag
i hate having 2 hide how much i love that kid....except i dont
i try but ppl can still tell that we r so awesome 2gether
biggest mistake was choosing nikole over me but its ok...cuz i GUESS we learn from mistakes
haha..i still got his wristband from friday...wen i was sittin wit him alone
i stoled it...nd i gave back his anarchy one...but the star one is all mine
hes such a dork, he was like "ima b online all night" nd fuccin gets off at 11:30, that douche
we was havin a mad good convo, tho 4 real, we b gettin into these convos that make u never wanna sleep
like...he told me he was gunna ask me out that day he broke up wit tay but then he talked 2 nooblette
nd sumthing hit him...now im always gunna wonder "wat if he did ask me out?"
its gunna drive me crazy, cuz nobody wuld b in this stupid fuccin predicament (?)
i cant wait til vaca...im goin 2 my moms nd we're gunna jus chill, nd have our yard sale
ima see if emo boy can come over nd chill, jus hang out or sumthin,
cuz it wuld b the last time he culd come over my moms nd chill
i jus realized that i reely need 2 change 75% of my passwords
there all like....guys names or sumthin reely stupid like my nationality
kinda weird nd funny

Current Mood:

bored

Current Music: beep-pussycat dolls

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04 April 2008 @ 11:31 am

what what

blah
im tired
this weekends gunn fuccin rock
i cant wait

fri= show, boning w/ auntie, sundae, movies, stuff like that
sat= art show, community hours, pictures, MAYBE nonos????
sun=emo fest ((heck yess))

dood...we had an assembly nd i was knocked the fucc outttttt

Current Location: class

Current Mood:

blah

Current Music: lollipop- lil wayne

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02 April 2008 @ 09:38 am

u can only go as fast as the person in front of u

omg....4 days without a post???
wow, mite b a new record, but theres not alot 2 post about
since i last posted i jus did minor things...
i have a convo w/ nooblette 2 straighten things out
she thinks emo boy still likes meh nd he is lying 2 her
but it dont matter so...wateva
im mad bored with life but id rather b bored than mad at evry1
i havent been mean or mad at ne1 lately
except for my friends boyfriend but that is cuz hes a DICK
i cant stand him...he makes me wanna punch infants
but me nd emo boy r cool, no arguements
we havent hung out in a while but he says its
cuz it wuld b awkward 4 nooblette cuz she thinks he likes me
even tho...hes like my best friend nd i cant hang out wit him bcuz of her
it jus feels retarded, i didnt wanna stop chillin 2gether or wateva
but bcuz he feels that way, ill respect that
even tho it sux reely bad, cuz i GUESS im a threat 2 her
but if emo boy wanted me, then hed b with me? arent i rite?
<3

Current Location: class

Current Mood:

creative

Current Music: our song-taylor swift

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28 March 2008 @ 10:55 am

my life sucks and its awesome

life is jus bein confusing
one minute hes telling me that im awesome
then how slow i am
then he has a fite with nooblette
nd im the best ever again...
i hate this lil on nd off love he has for me
but id rather him do that
then not love me at all

PS she asked him if he still likes me nd he said no...

Current Location: all up in ur milkshake

Current Mood:

blank

Current Music: beating hearts baby-head automatica

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27 March 2008 @ 10:45 am

ur an animal<3

dood...seriously, yesterday i had a convo wit emo boy...
nd im tellin u now....he is a freakkkk
but i noe sum ppl dont wanna noe the whole story so ill jus put it behind a cut
we had a mad long convo...he had an attitude during skool tho
nd didnt gimme a hug so i waited til he IMed me
i told him about how i like sumbody elseee
nd he had 2 make fun of my shortness nd how tall white boy is huge
but my dad was bein a DOUCHEBAGG fer no reason
evryone is singing 2day...nd their not very good

( sexual convo between me nd emo boy )

so yeahh....thats pretty much it for now...

Current Mood:

crazy

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26 March 2008 @ 10:37 am

i dont care wat they say, im in love wit u, try 2 push me away, but they dont noe the truth <3

yooo yesterday was hella fun
nd kinda weird, i got many hugs again
now im single nd shyt i gotta get bacc on my flirting game <3
the ex...the cheater tried 2 get me 2 kiss him yesterday
nd i kept sayin no go me!!
i was bein extra flirty yesterday cuz it was fun
like wit emo boy, we was messin around in english
nd it was fun but he threw my ring under the self
nd wen i bent over 2 pick it up he kicked me in my butt
i think that my skinny jeans r sort of inviting...
omg...ppl keep inviting me 2 smoke weed wit them
nd i kinda want 2 but ive never done that b4 (surprisingly)
emo boy even told me bout hes been smokin 4 a month
hes trusting me more now nd i love it, its a good feeling
i noe almost evrything about him, but i still havent told him alot
bcuz im not too trusting, nd it sux but he said i shuld smoke wit him
nd i reely want to but i aint gunna smoke wit his friends, i dont like sum of them
if it was jus me nd him it'd b cool nd maybe another person whos neva smoked
but ill eventually do it...i hate 2 admit it but i missed the kid
now we're kinda close again nd i love it bcuz hes my bestie
im sittin wit new pplsz at lunch nd its fun as fuckk
we have awkward but awesome convos
ive been awfully nice 2 nooblette bcuz no1 likes her so im nice
but i dont rrespect or trust her..its weird
i cant wait 2 talk 2 him....its so fun! i love that kid so much lmao

P.S my lil drummer boy is not playing on april 6th but me nd nono r still goin 2 ~~sex~~ see all the hotties

Current Mood:

creative

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25 March 2008 @ 10:04 am

oh em gee beckayy

ppl driv me nuts...especially the crazy ones...my friends r all dumb
emo boy nd nooblette r having problems but r doing great..they dont noe
hes saying they r awesome nd they r fine but she says hes a bad kisser nd she tired of him
tall white boy is too funny..we b in class nd he shushes me 4 evry lil thing
nd ill sneeze nd hell b like "shhhhh no talking" MAD LOUD
yesterday i had a pretty fun day but i found out how much nooblette talks shyt about her bf
so i told him a bit of it nd he complains 2 my best friend that im the only one who still has a problem with it
but i didnt do nething about it, i jus wont tell him shyt nemore...not about her
he'll find out but 4 now i got my sights on sum others....
but yesterday he was bein weird but in a good way, he gave me a hug
which he hasnt done in forever....not a real hug like yesterday, cuz i love his hugs
cuz hes kinda big nd swallows me in his arms which is awesome
so he was giving me mad hugs nd then he got kicked in the balls XDD
but yea...he trusts me nd i love itt
he told me about his father nd i was extremely happy that he trusts me

Current Mood:

giddy

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20 March 2008 @ 10:27 am

i dont where to look for love, nd i jus dont noe how

Heyyy
Lifes Getting Better
But i wanna noe Where i Can get Shirts made for Cheap
Cuz i Wanna "SB" shirt ((Super Bleeder-dane cook))
nd i want a "Thats What she Said" shirt
id Love that
But i got Dane Cook Icons....my Obsession
i dont got much to say
Except im gunna B Puttin new pics up on myspace Soon

Current Mood:

accomplished

Current Music: oh girl- paul wall

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19 March 2008 @ 10:07 am

listen 2 the beat of my heart babyy <3

boring day so far...yesterday was about the same
we had an assembly yesterday nd watched this play bout macbeth
it was uberrgayy so me nd my friends were goofing off
theres this kid, hes kinda cute, nd reely funny
i miiiite like him nd hes a big change from emo boy
we shall call him....tall white kid/boy
i didnt noe his name until a month ago but evry1 calls him that
bcuz hes the tallest freshman nd hes white
we were talking last week nd i asked how tall he was....hes 6'4"
nd im 5'3" which is....short but hes got braces
nd im not into guys with braces but its wateva
nooblette and emo boy were in Pobes' class 2day
he came in 3 minutes after she did nd gave her a hug
but she wouldnt kiss him, which i thought was a lil funny
i got english 2day which is awesomeful cuz i got first lunch
cheaaaa!!

Current Mood:

content

Current Music: run the show- kat deluna

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18 March 2008 @ 10:26 am

say ull b my girl 4 lyfe....ello ello ello ello vee ee

gahh...2days gunna b fun, in spite of the bad morning i had
my bus didnt come to our stop...fags
then in my 1st prd this boy lept fartin...
as if it didnt already smell from the tar work their doin outside
nd this wasnt a fart....it was a bomb, it stunk nd he was crackin up
him and his friend...they have the most interesting convos
thats y i sit next 2 them but sumtymes they say things nd i cant help but laff
like ive heard evrything now cuz of all my guy friends who r all perverts
most perverted? i cant pickk
"i wanna put it in her butt...id wax that ass"
first thing i heard from them..it was so funny coming from preppy lookin white boys
they stay talkin bout sumbodys fat ass...its hilarious cuz all my best guy friends r ass guys
i mean...they like boobs but mostly jus talkin bout girls asses
that is y i have a friends that i can joke with about that stuff
for example...nono is a chick but we cant go 5 min. without a sexual reference
but i like...never see her, so we talk online nd stuff
then i got vanilla ice, marq, is my bestest guy buddy since 7th grade
hes hilarious...he says "thats what she said" at the PERFECT moments
nd of course emo boy, who i can have the weirdest convos with
yesterday he called me a "supa freakk" hes so weird but it was funny cuz
i was tellin a story bout my lil drummer boy who was sayin he culdnt b wit
a girl who wanted control in the bedroom ALL the time nd he said like me
so i asked colby if i looked like the type of person who wuld wanna b in charge in the bedroom
nd he was all "well ur innocent in that area so i wuldnt noe" then i said sumthing along the lines of
"i actually think its hot wen a guy wants 2 take charge of me, but kinda sexually, not like...he owns me, but thats soo hot wen guys kind of take control nd get a bit rough at the right times"
nd he was like "omg...u r a freakk, SUPAFREAK" spelt all gay nd shit
then theirs my lil drummer boy who is like...a yr nd a half older than me
hes soo dumb but i love that kid, nd hes a family friend so he sleeps over nd goes places with us
like i call him a fag nd hes got sum responce like
"o reely? thats not wat u said last night. u was screamin my name, nd i dont think that makes me a fag"
or we b at six flags nd he'll have 2 make a remark about "im gunna spank u wen we get home"
but hes awesome nd hot so its all good...i jus remark bacc
ive got a billion friends i make jokes wit about stuff like that...

Current Location: class

Current Mood:

crazy

Current Music: girlfriend (remix)- avril lavigne ft. lil mama

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17 March 2008 @ 09:38 am

i got ur picture, im comin with u, dear maria count me in

ohh...life
is it reely a gift? if it is..its worst gift ive ever gotten
i wuld think 2008 was gunna b better but no...
far from. so far...ive wanted 2 kill sum1 evryday
so...update? emo boy nd nooblette go out...
wen he said hed wait...nd she said shed say no
but i wont protest cuz if they wanna make each other miserable instead of me
they can go rite aheadd..even tho im not the happiest
but evry1s like "OMGZZZZ IM SO VERY SRRY BOUT HIM"
like....reely? im tryin NOT 2 care so dont bring it up
nd dont call emo boy HIM like hes my evrything
cuz he was...not anymore....he can b her evrything, not mine
if i see them kiss tho...i will probably puke up evrything ive ate in the last 3 yrs
but in other news..
ive been stuck at home all weekend nd its depressing
my mom wont sleep alone, but thats easy cuz i sleep in her temperpedic
but we have to put tags on evrything that we r selling
we've got 2 take our other 2 cats (that my moms not takin 2 AZ) 2 the humaine society
i had 2 take all my stuff that we aint sellin 2 my dads house
i think im gunna have 2 die eventually....bcuz i cant live with him for more than 5 days
thats y my mother is there, shes my bestie
me nd my other bestie...nono have green hair 2day
its st.pattys day...who gives a fuck if im onlii like .....1/8 irish
we r all pimped out with our spray painted hair nd bright shirts
we rawkkkkkkk

Current Location: class

Current Mood:

irritated

Current Music: i dont wanna b in love-good charlotte

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14 March 2008 @ 10:35 am

im selfish as selfish comes, but ur givin me a run 4 my money

im booredd
but 2o min. ago i Was Havin Fun
Bcuz ii was Messin around in Pobes' First prd
That i REELY wish i Was in, Which i was Last semester
but Last Semester It wasnt as Much Fun
this Sem. Emo Boy is in That Class but Im not :(
but Its also fun bcuz NoNo is awesome nd Shes in there
so is my friend Gilligan (wat i call her) nd shes a laff Nd a Half
Nooblette is Also There... but We jus joke about Her
even If Emo boy tells Us Not 2 we Dont listen
2day i was talkin Bout Skating...from a Week ago
nd From one time When i Fell nd this REELY big lady was in Front of us
nd she fell in Slow Motion nd was like "OOOOHHHH SHHHiiiiiiiiiiiTTTTT"
I was In STITCHESZ but then we tripped over her..
i went Shoppin yesterday..I had Fun at Wally World
i bought a Bra nd Thong nd 2 shirts Nd Face stuff
(eyeliner, eyelash stuff, scrub, nd stuff like that)
I Had a Hannah Montana girft card from My Great Grandma..
Me nd Kim were so Entertained by The Hollagram thing
I also Added 2 my Collection/Obsession of Magazines
but thats all folks!!

Current Location: class

Current Music: shes in love with the boy-trisha yearwood

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13 March 2008 @ 10:12 am

emo is one step below transvestite

gahh skools gay
nd even gayer? the ppl in it
guys? r all after 1 thing
girls? all fuccin bitchesz
i hope the worlds not like that
bcuz i will b in jail
by the time im 21

Current Location: class

Current Mood:

bored

Current Music: emo song

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12 March 2008 @ 09:39 am

Darling, what is going on? honestly that never happened, Lying is ur favorite passion

Im being Tested..Life is Testing me nd i Think im Failing
Seriously...im at a Point where Im so Sick of Evrything
Im so Mad that There isnt one Thing in The world that Doesnt Sicken me
Yesterday was in the top 35 Worst Days of my Life
No i dont Reely have a list But if i Did im Sure it wuld b There
My Stepdad Left...Loser took the PS3...Fuccin idiot
He jus kind of Packed his Stuff nd Called for a Cab, No Goodbyes
Then we Had to go Explain 2 my Little brother nd His Dickweed of a father
who I Happen 2 want 2 Kill or at Least Beat him Within one Inch of his life
Because Hes an Abuser nd a Child Molester nd I Hate him
But my Brother was Crying, then My mom told us She Has to move
to AZ...without us...for Months....so She can get back On her Feet
nd Then i go Home nd Emo boys online...nd we're talking
So he Asks me "can i tell u sumthing in confidence that u wont tell anyone"
i Shuldve Said "No, Cuz if its Secretive its gunna B Bad" but no....
i said "sure, please do, i promise i wont tell, im glad u trust me"
so He tells Me nd I Swore i wuldnt say Nething
But it concerns Nooblette, nd Wat he told me...made me SO mad
i was goin Nuts...I had So much shyt to Deal with nd He drops That Bomb on me
I was at a breaking Point so I Cried...i Had nothing 2 do, i culdnt tell ne1
He didnt Wanna Hear wat i thought about it He onlii Cares about Her Story
even tho on monday She told Me nd AK that she was Sick of Him already
Also on Monday...she Told AK that she loved him...
But on Tuesday tell Emo boy that She is Obsessed with him
nd She Said she did something...the Worst thing i can think of To Lie 2 him about
i Noe how he is nd His View on The subject nd She Probably noes 2
Nd its y she Told him she did it, But She doesnt have Proof so...me ns AK
wont believe her Until we SEe the Proof..But Emo boy Thinks im a Heartless Liar
He thinks Im Lying so He can get Over Her nd Come bacc 2 me
but I Dont care nemore Im Refusiing 2 Talk 2 him Til Hes Got sum Sense
i cried so hard last night, wen i woke up this morning i needed mucho coverup!!!

Current Mood: fed up

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11 March 2008 @ 09:44 am

(no subject)

uhmm chea...i still havent talked 2 emo boy
but i got pictures of him on my computer
of me, him, loverboy nd loverchick
i was thinking i can post them on here so that ne1 who reads this
can see who they all r, nd see pics of me!!!
maybe...send me a comment if u wanna see them
but newhore...in a few weeks, theres this punk rock festival
im not too into punk rock but ill go bcuz my friends asked me to
nooblette is goin, my bestie nono said she wuld go, luverchick said she'll go
nd most of all, my future husband, we'll call him sticks, plays the drums in a band
nd he said if his band ever plays in my town id better go, nd they r, so i have 2 go
its $5 nd i can get sum food nd see hotties? JEA
my art class is boring nd it smells like salt n vinegar chips
i got all my classes 2day....except for geometry
which doesnt reely matter 2 me..but i have 5th prd so i see emo boy
nd 6th prd i see nooblette yesterday was fun
we made fun of our friend AK all day nd beat him up bcuz its fun
hes not having kids is all i noe...maybe he needs 2 stop bein rude 2 ppl
she was there...bein queer, she told me shes kind of sick of emo boy
nd hes annoying 2 her now....i knew it wuld end up that way
she gets sick of guys easily nd i told him, but he doesnt listen 2 me
but its his heart...so i shuldnt care, but i do, i feel bad, but he did it 2 me
so wat the fucc shuld i care? i dunno...but oh wells
im tired...g2g class is over

Current Location: class

Current Mood:

sleepy

Current Music: its me bitchesz(remix)-swizz beats

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10 March 2008 @ 08:20 pm

handwriting meme

HANDWRITING MEME
1. Name/username
2. Righty or lefty
3. Favorite letters to write
4. Lest favorite letters to write.
5. "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
6. Tag Five people.

Current Location: homee

Current Mood:

content

Current Music: curse of curves- cute is what we aim for

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10 March 2008 @ 01:45 pm

dont worry darling, ill b gone wen morning comes

So hows My Life?
uhh its Okay i Guess
i havent Talked to Emo Boy since Friday in Escuela
He doesnt Derserve 2 b Talked 2 but Anyone Except for his New Girl
lets call her....Noobette bcuz i feel like it
well i Havent Talked to Noobette either
i blame Emo boy For my newly Found Side of myself
I Knew i was crazy nd i Have Anger problems
but the Music ive Been listening To for the past Month
is crazier But it Helps when Im Mad n shyt
Of course I Fell for him Id Fall for his emo nd Headbanger Music
Which im Listening to now
I Dont see nooblette or emo boy 2day
but i See them Both 2morrow ~~YAYNESS~~ *headdesk*
in skool We didnt Have skool Til late
So me Nd my friends Jus Walked around
Then watched The White boys Skateboard nd fuck each Other up
it Smells like Weed reely Bad in my Second Prd
but my weekends R reely Sucky lately
My StepDad is leaving For AZ this week
Hes not Coming back so We r jus kinda Left Here
i hate him so much but Evry1 thinks Im hurt by him leaving Us
IM NOT...im a lil mad but Im not Goin 2 Break Down nd Cry
its my mom nd Brother whos all broken up
i jus wanna Kick him in the Face, but im not sad
~~but i do care even tho i wanna hate him~~
if theres One Guy who can Prove 2 me that All guys Wont screw Me over
I wanna Meet him

Current Location: class

Current Mood:

anxious

Current Music: situations-escape the fate

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06 March 2008 @ 11:42 am

jus...blahh

im failing science
so i need 2 stay after 2day wit loverchick
nd goin 2 chill wit her nd loverboy *cuts wrists*
but emo boy mite go nd if hes there
theres not a doubt in my mind that SHE wont go
im so sick of her but its fine
cuz im gunna test my skills 2day....
goin sumwhere with her nd havin 2 jus...
not beat the jesus outta her
but reely, i will punch her in her face
but its okay cuz if i dont then im gettin better at the anger thing
ill tell how it all goes 2morrow
but in other news...
I LOVE MY NORA
AND ANDIE OWNS MY LEFT BOOB
love ya bitchesz

Current Location: lala land

Current Mood:

hyper

Current Music: make love in this club-usher

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03 March 2008 @ 12:06 pm

its not like you to say sorry, got me waiting on a different story

too much drama
hes single again....
but we're not geting back 2gether
end of story......

Current Location: class

Current Mood:

angry

Current Music: how you remind me-nickelback

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29 February 2008 @ 08:12 am

she calls me baby..then she wont call me

ughh i feel bad cuz emo boy is jus so emo
but he takes it out on the wrong ppl
like last night he got on IM nd we was talking
nd he was dealing with sum problems so i stopped talkin 2 him
cuz he was helping my "attention whore" of a friend out
but then she got offline nd he IMs me nd i try nd talk n he dont wanna talk
nd if he does its jus 2 argue n contradict me...wats his problem
i have no fuccin idea
but he was arguin wit me about y i culdnt hang out in the MS lounge after skool
nd he said cuz y shuld i have the benefits of the MS if i dont go there
nd i said i have a class there nd he starts on this whole speach
about how "ms.browns class is NOTHING compared 2 the shit we have to handle in the MS"
he was bein a dick but its wateva cuz i didnt argue
then he jus said sumthin that got nd my nerves so i caught myself
nd i was jus like "u need 2 sleep on sum things cuz i can tell ur irritable
nd i reely dont wanna argue bcuz we havent argued in 4ever"
so i jus signed off nd went 2 sleep but i thought about it 4 like...an hour
i was trying 2 watch csi but i keep gettin distracted
im glad i walked away from an arguement
it means im getting better with handling my anger issues
i havent argued with any1 in a few weeks
but its cuz i have sympathy 4 him
i mean...his gf isnt the best nd hes always tryna help ppl with their problems
wen he jus needs 2 stop n fix his own
he told my friend that he "is constantly gettin mad at me nd its a subconcious thing"
how does a girl like me end up in love with a boy whos sensitive like him
nd now i jus wanna help but im gettin pushed away
i wont call him thisz weekend
except maybe on sat. cuz i always call him wen im by myself
bcuz i dont like that feeling of not talkin 2 any1 when im alone
but in other news...life is boring nd tiring
except my awesome english class but 2day mite not b awesome
bcuz of emo boy...but i got food so wateva
lol im so fat XD

Current Location: class

Current Mood:

confused

Current Music: hanging by a moment-lifehouse

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28 February 2008 @ 07:44 am

i want sum1 whos provacative nd talkative but its so hard wen ur shallow as a shower

"I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all."

jus thought id add that...
but yea, jus so the world noes, 2days gunna b a crummy day
im sure of it.
but maybe not
yesterday me n emo boy (him) hung out
hes possibly in the worst relationship possible rite now
we were hanging out n he saw her in the halls
nd he says "hey i didnt noe u were staying after...wat-"
n she cuts him off n rudely responds "cuz im NOT"
she walks away...no hi, no hug, no kiss, jus attitude
so he jus shrugs it off like "oh okayy"
but we go upstairs 2 join the lovebirds (our friends)
in the computer lab nd loverboy their waiting 4 the loverchick
nd i was messing around nd look in the window of the computer lab of M.S
nd who do i see....her...emo boys gf....
staying after class with sum boy...
so he pops up next 2 me in a "wat r u doing" kind of way
nd i turn around nd walk away like i didnt see it
nd he realizes nd says "yea...shes not staying after skool"
but i culd tell he wasnt happy at all
nd i had 2 fix that so, i took his headphones nd ran nd he chased me
nd his stupid ass friends r haters
(cuz they r nerds n never talked 2 a girl in their life but their moms)
keep sayin shyt like "wheres ur gf" nd "r u nd her 2gether"
so loverboy nd loverchick r trying 2 get colby 2 break up with her nd b wit me
nd now...im jus like..if he hasnt done it by now he wont,
he cares 2 much he wont do it, thats fucked up cuz thats wat i did 2 him he shuldnt do it,
nd im jus tellin them 2 shut up cuz i dont want him 2 do that 4 me
but then ago i still love the shyt outta that boy...nd im pretty sure that wont change netime soon
but i keep saying i wont wait around 4 him nd im not bt ill wait 4 him 2 b single
meanwhile im not "waiting around" bcuz ill b having my fun
but im pretty sure the worst thing that culd happen 2 me 2day is
he telling me he still has that problem...

Current Location: 1st prd

Current Mood:

tired

Current Music: curse of the curves- cute is what we aim for

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